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Relationship Outcomes. Conflict Resolution. Effective Communication.

Unfortunately, for many of us, Disney lied to us.

They did not live happily ever after. They had conflicts, disagreements, arguments, hurt feelings, and difficulties with communication. In fact, one of the biggest factors regarding relationship outcome is how well the couple can deal with conflict. The better conflict resolution skills a relationship has, the higher the chances the relationship will succeed. And one of the best conflict resolution skills to possess is effective communication.

So, What is Effective Communication?

In order to examine effective communication, we first must define what communication is. Communication essentially requires at least 2 individuals, one of which is delivering a message, and the other is receiving the message. So, what is effective communication?

Well, there are essentially 5 steps:

  1. The first step is the intention behind the speech.

  2. Second, we must produce verbal and nonverbal communication that we hope reflects the intention.

  3. Three, the message travels through a distortion field which will be come back to).

  4. Fourth, the second individual needs to receive the message.

  5. Fifth, they must then interpret the message.

The closer the interpretation is to the intent, the more effective the communication is, which largely depends on the Distortion Field.

The larger the distortion field, the less effective communication will be.

Simply put, the distortion field is a multitude of factors that disrupt, interfere, and distort the intention behind the message and the way the message is interpreted. These factors include how rested we are, stressed-out we are, blood sugar levels, time of day, tiredness, sensitivity to rejection and arguments, sensitivity to the topic, day of the week, assuming what each other is going to say etc. All of these factors need to be taken into consideration, to ensure the smallest possible Distortion Field, particularly when we have to have long, difficult conversations. The better we manage her emotions, and pick proper opportunities to have these conversations pre-emptively, the higher the chances of success due to more effective communication.

As we said on the farm, you were given two ears and one mouth, so you do twice as much listening as you do talking. Well, surprise! Surprise! The more time spent listening to our partners, the more effective communication will be!

Come heal, grow and create together


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