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Making Marriages Work

Kindness and Generosity.

Generosity and Kindness are two of the most important qualities in making marriages work, and even work for all your relationships. They can help to create a sense of mutual respect and understanding, and can be instrumental in building a strong foundation for a lasting partnership. Whether it's a romantic relationship or a friendship, these qualities are essential for fostering trust, empathy, and love (and there is even more and more research to support this).

A man does up a woman;s bicycle helmet showing kindness and generosity, key components of making marriages work

For example, in one study, conducted by Layous and colleagues (2017), found that engaging in acts of kindness towards one's partner can lead to increased relationship satisfaction. Another recent study, conducted by Lambert and colleagues (2018), investigated the role of generosity in promoting empathy and compassion in romantic relationships. The researchers found that couples who reported engaging in generous behavior towards each other were more likely to experience feelings of empathy and compassion towards their partner.

One of the primary benefits of generosity and kindness in a relationship is that they can help to create a sense of safety and security. When we feel that our partner or friend is consistently acting in our best interests, we are more likely to feel comfortable sharing our thoughts, feelings, and vulnerabilities with them. This can lead to greater intimacy and deeper connections, as we allow ourselves to be seen and accepted for who we truly are.

Additionally, generosity and kindness can help to create a positive feedback loop in a relationship. When we are generous and kind to our partner or friend, they are more likely to reciprocate those behaviors. This can lead to a virtuous cycle of mutual giving, where each person is constantly striving to make the other feel valued and appreciated. (Do you remember the golden rule? Treat others as you would want to be treated…)

Perhaps most importantly, generosity and kindness are key ingredients in any successful conflict resolution. Inevitably, there will be times when disagreements or misunderstandings arise in a relationship. In these moments, it is critical to be able to approach the situation with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to compromise. By being generous and kind towards our partner or friend, we can create an environment where conflicts can be resolved in a constructive and mutually beneficial way.

Of course, being generous and kind in a relationship is not always easy. It can require patience, humility, and a willingness to put the needs of the other person before our own. But psychological research has consistently shown that Generosity and Kindness are key ingredients in fostering emotional connection, building trust, promoting relationship satisfaction, and improving mental health outcomes.

multiple hands create a heart shape.  The words Treat other people with respect. They will treat you with respect is written in the middle.  This is one way of making marriages work.

As we said on the farm, “Do unto others as you would want to have done unto yourself. If you treat other people with respect, they will treat you with respect.”

Come heal, grow and create together


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